Bad Joke
by Aichisu
Summary: The Joker meets a mysterious woman after crashing a party.
1. Chapter 1

It was just past 10:00 PM when all the commotion started. Loud chatter amongst a whole party of people was silenced instantly due to a gunshot, and Joker and his clowns walking into the room, which was now stood completely still in fear. Joker walked around the room, mocking people, theatening them with his small pocket knife for his own amusement. He made his way halfway around the room when a woman stepped out of the crowd.

"Ok stop." said an angry looking Rachel Dawes, clearly annoyed at the attitude Joker was giving the crowd.

"What gives you the right to just waltz in here and torment these people?" she said, now crossing her arms.

Joker licked at the scar on his right cheek before walking closer to Rachel, using his knife to smooth back his greasy hair.

"Well hellooo beautiful." he said, now hovering over a slightly frightened Rachel, ignoring the words she had just said to him.

He licked at a scar again. "Now what's a pretty girl like you doing putting her life on the line like this?" he said, his face hovering just inches away from hers.

Rachel turned her head, clearly disgusted by the man, and just as quickly as she did that, Joker had grabbed her face with one hand and turned her face toward his.

"Look at me." he said in an angry sounding tone, now holding his knife up to a struggling Rachel's face. "Do I make you nervous?" He paused. "Is it the scars? Do you want to know how I got 'em?"

Rachel spit in his face, still struggling. Joker laughed and took out a small handkerchief he had in his pocket and dabbed his forehead where the saliva had landed. Fortunately for him, it was only a small amount of spit, so not a lot of makeup came off. He chuckled lightly.

"Now that's not very nice" he said licking at his scars again, a smirk on his face.

He gripped Rachel's cheeks harder, her small, thin fingers clawing at his wrists. She had one last resort for escaping, so she quickly lifted her knee and hit Joker in the groin. He winced in pain for the quickest moment and stepped back, letting go of Rachel before laughing it off.

"A little fight in you. I like that." Joker said, walking back towards her.

"Then you're gonna love me." a gruff voice said from Joker's left side.

Just then Joker felt himself being thrown across the room, while his clowns ganged up on the newly appeared Batman in a failed attempt to hurt him in some way. The clowns were quickly tossed aside into a crowd of people who were still stunned, and didn't know what to do. Joker got up and licked his lips, and in one swift movement, he grabbed the unsuspecting Rachel and held her close to himself. He shot out the big window that was behind him, and changed his grip on Rachel so that she was hanging out of the window.

Batman took a step forward. "Let her go."

Joker laughed. "Poor choice of words." He said, letting go of Rachel, who was now sliding down the smooth slanted roof, her arms stretching out before her as far as they could, hoping to grab onto something.

Batman rushed to the window and jumped out, sliding down the roof after a screaming Rachel. Joker laughed his psychotic laugh and stepped towards the middle of the room again. He was about to say something when he heard another laugh; the laugh of a woman. He looked towards the direction of the laugh, which was somewhere above. He saw a girl drop down from a place in the roof, landing only a few meters away from him. The girl was in her mid 20s by the looks of it. She wore tight leather shorts, striped knee-high socks, pink Converse shoes, and a plain white shirt, which was covered by a black and white striped sweater with overly long sleeves, which looked like it could have been a straight jacket at one point before. Her makeup was very much like Joker's, just a bit more subtle and put on more carefully, and her hair was a bright pink, teased up and messy looking. Her eyes were completely black, obviously the work of special contact lenses, with scars above and below each eye. The scars looked like two light jagged lines across her face when she blinked, there was also a scar on her neck, showing that whoever tried to slit her throat, didn't do a good enough job. She stood with a cocky stance, smiling now instead of laughing.

"You sure do know how to pump up a party, don't you?" she said in a sarcastic, mocking tone. She looked around the room, in which the whole crowd of people was now looking at her. She chuckled and lightly licked her lips quickly, she loved being the center of attention. She looked back towards Joker, hoping for a good response.

"And who are you? Hmm?" he asked looking straight at her, a slightly amused look on his face.

She sighed at the boring response. "Me?" she laughed. "I don't have a name."

Joker licked his lips and squinted his eyes a little, clearly confused why this girl was here, why she had watched the whole scene before.

"You're wondering why I'm here, aren't you?" she said. "Truthfully, I'm new to this city. I came because I heard there was a good crime rate here, I've also wanted to see the Batman in action. I came here 'cause I was interested. I also wanted to see what kind of lame-ass idiots were causing all the whining in this city." she finished.

A man from the crowd of people stepped forward. "Hey! Why don't you take your meeting elsewhere? You ca--" before the man could finish, the woman had him by the throat up against a wall.

"I suggest you shut your trap, bud." she said, looking the frightened and shocked man straight in the eyes.

Joker was a little interested in this girl. "_Maybe I can use her to my advantage_." he thought, a smile now reappearing on his face.

"Now, now, leave the man alone." he said stepping closer to the girl, who had dropped the man on the ground.

She turned her vision to the Joker, who was now only a few feet away from her.

"Lets leave these people alone for now and talk this over elsewhere." he suggested.

He motioned towards the elevator.

The woman smirked. "I'll meet you downstairs." she said rather quickly, before dashing towards the broken window and jumping out.

The crowd of people gasped all at once, making it sound like a big studio audience in the background of some crappy TV show. There was slight chatter in the crowd. Joker just chuckled and made his way towards the elevator licking at his scars, motioning for his clowns, who were now starting to get up from the Batman beating they took, to come with him. The elevator door slid open and the men stepped inside. Just as the door was closing, Joker remembered that he had forgotten to do something. He held his hand out and stopped the doors from closing.

"Ahhh, I almost forgot..." he said, pulling out a grenade-looking object.

He let the elevator door start closing again before he pulled the pin out of the object and threw it into the room. It went off right away, though it didn't release an explosion, just a gas. Joker knew this wouldn't do much, seeing as a window had been shot out, but it didn't hurt to make a somewhat dramatic exit. He knew the people would panic about it anyway. A satisfied smile came across his face, and the elevator door opened. On the main floor of the building where some unconscious guards and people bound by ropes, and the woman, who was sitting on the arm of a big couch. She looked around the room at the people.

"You may not be as crazy as you look." she said giggling a psychotic giggle as she walked towards the glass doors.

"Shall we?" she said opening the door, walking out onto the dimly lit streets of Gotham, as if she was one of Joker's henchmen.

Joker and his men followed, and walked out the door. They quickly hopped into a van that was parked in front of the building, and the woman got in too, unaware of where she could be headed. At this point, she didn't care. She hadn't felt this much excitement in so long. She was happy to be where all the supposed "good" criminals were.

"So who the hell are you?" she said, directing her question towards the Joker.

"You've heard of the Batman, but you haven't heard of me?" Joker licked his lips and chuckled.


	2. Chapter 2

"So let me get this straight... They call you The _Joker_?" the woman asked, seeming to be in slight disbelief.

"Well you sure do look like you should be on a cheap deck of playing cards." she said, eyeing his makeup and outfit.

"As do you." Joker said, slowly turning his head to look at the girl, a small smile on his face, referring to her makeup which was just a toned down version of his.

Joker let his mind wander a little for a few seconds, now wondering how this woman's makeup could be so similar to his. She hadn't heard of him before, obviously, so she wouldn't be some copycat or anything. Joker shrugged it off, deeming it as sheer coincidence, which it most likely was anyway.

The woman laughed, "A good sense of humor. Perfect." she said now looking out the van's tinted window. "Where the hell are we going, anyway?"

Joker smiled his psychotic looking smile, "You'll see when we get there." he said as he licked at one of his scars.

About 5 minutes later, the van stopped and everyone stepped out in front of an old, abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. The woman breathed in the air, not caring about the fact that she was in an unknown place. She followed Joker and his clowns into the warehouse, which had absolutely nothing in it except some tables, chairs, weapons, and other miscellanious stuff, most of it being papers and folders, most likely containing some kind of important information.

"Take a seat." Joker said, pulling out a chair, and motioning for the woman to sit in it as he walked to his own chair and sat down.

The woman strode over to the seat, sat down, and put her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands, looking contently at the Joker.

"So. Why am I here anyway? I must've had something interesting for you to want to invite me here." she said rather cockily.

"Ah, ah ah. _I'm_ the one who should be asking the questions here. After all, you are in _my_ territory." Joker smacked his lips together "You know, it was pretty brave of you to interupt me while I was having my fun back there."

"Brave?" the woman laughed loudly "Brave... how so? Are you that cocky to believe that if you hadn't found something interesting in me that you could have done some damage to me? Come on now. I know all you probably would have done is send your little circus freaks here on me." she motioned towards the few henchman who were sitting at one side of the table together. "The only thing they would do is get their asses kicked." she sat back in her chair crossing her arms, clearly confident in her words.

The Joker grinned, his scars making it look as if he was happier than ever "You call _me_ cocky, hmm?" he got out of his seat and pulled a small knife out of his pocket.

The woman's eyes trailed from Joker's make-up covered face down to the hand that was holding the knife. Her lifeless looking eyes staring at the object in curiousity.

"It's time for tryouts." Joker said simply before stabbing the knife into the table so just the tip was sticking into it.

He looked at his henchman and nodded. The clowns seemed to hesitate for a moment before they all flew out of their seats, one successful in grabbing the small knife out of the table. The woman smiled as one of the clowns brought the knife to her throat. In one swift movement, she kicked her leg straight up and knocked the clown backwards, sending him and the knife flying to the ground. She got up and walked towards the other two clowns and smiled huge before punching both of them in the stomach, making them gasp for air. She picked up the knife off the floor, and in just a few moments, the two gasping henchman were laying on the floor, bleeding out of their necks, quickly reaching the ends of their lives. The woman then walked towards the clown who was still on the ground, grabbed him by his hair, and stood him up. Just as quick as Joker could blink, the woman had smashed the clowns face against the hard cement wall, his nose broken and bloody, his lip bleeding, the blood pouring out from under the mask. The woman was sure she knocked atleast one of his teeth out with the wall blow, even with the mask on. She got on her knees in front of the bleeding man and straddled him, her face dangerously close to his masked face. She rubbed the little knife against the masks' cheeks, and then without warning, slit his throat wide open. He grabbed at his heavily bleeding neck before he fell to the ground, lifeless as the other two bodies in the warehouse. She got up off the dead man and wiped the bloodied knife on her sweater, and proceeded to walk back to her seat.

"Did I pass your tryouts?" she said, tossing the knife back onto the table.

Joker was amused, interested, and a very little bit shocked by this woman's performance just now.

"Very good!" he said, carrying out the 'o's in the last word in an amused tone.

He strode over to where the woman was sitting and leaned down so his face was close to hers.

"Tryouts aren't over yet, though, beautiful." he said, a grin appearing on his makeup covered face.

Joker grabbed another small knife from his pocket and pretended to be inspecting the blade.

"Do you want to know how I got these scars?" he said, slowly turning his vision back towards the woman. "Come here."

He pulled the woman's head close and brought the small knife up to her mouth. He dragged it across her lips and cheek before dragging it back slowly and placing it inside her mouth, the cool blade now touching her inner cheek. The woman appeared to be smiling, which threw the Joker a little off guard. He went on:

"When I was a little one... my mother, a drug addict, would beat me. You see, I was the mistake of the family." he licked the corner of his mouth, "So, one day I finally decide to take a stand against this. She doesn't like it. Not. One. Bit. So she decides to grab my brother's pocket knife out of my brother's pocket while he stands there watching. She held it in my mouth, just like this," he pressed the knife harder into the woman's cheek, "and she said 'you should learn to be more like your brother, you need to smile more!' and she pressed it harder into my cheek" the knife now cut into the woman's inner cheek a little, "until I was bleeding enormous amounts of blood. She laughs. She takes the knife again and cuts all the way through." Joker moved his tongue along the scar on the left side of his inner cheek, "She laughs at me, then my brother laughs with her. Now by this time, I was passed out from the blood loss, so when I woke up, I was in an unknown alley, the cuts on my face had stopped bleeding, for the most part. It was dark and wet, it was filled with the smell of rancid garbage and sewer water." he pulled his face as close as he could to the woman's face and stared directly into her lifeless looking black eyes.

The woman was still smiling, no part of the story seemed to move her at all, and the knife in her mouth appeared to be like another trip to the dentist to her. Joker smacked his lips together and pulled his face away and the knife out of the woman's mouth. She was still smiling, and it was noticeable that she was licking her inner cheek where the little bit of blood was seeping out. Joker put the knife back in his pocket and took a seat across from the woman.

"You really are a brave one, aren't you? No twitches, no sounds, just a smile. Perfect." Joker said, his tone seeming light and happy, in a dark way, of course. "You've passed my tryouts. Welcome to the club, beautiful."


End file.
